Yup, that’s right! I must have temporarily lost my mind because…it looks like we’re having another baby. And, this was planned! Boom! Take that lol. I know what some of you may be thinking. Why would she have another baby before she even finishes school? Well, first off you should really try not to be so judgmental.😊 Second, the rationale is really rather straightforward. We just really wanted another one and let me tell you the process has not been an easy road. We hoped and prayed for this baby for some time. When we had our son, it was a pretty easy road. We decided we were ready, we did the baby-making activities, and boom I was pregnant. It was a pretty smooth experience. This time we had to “work” at it a bit longer. We got to see what it meant to actually try for a pregnancy and experienced a loss along the way (no, I’m not ready to discuss that. Maybe one day). But even with that stress and hurt, we knew that we wanted another little ankle biter. We wanted our son to have what neither of us have, a sibling that he can grow up with and hopefully share a lifelong bond with. The difficulties of the second go-round confirmed for me that waiting any longer to try may have just made the process more difficult. Ahh yes, let us not forget the continual clicking of our biological clocks. I know that there are many means of becoming a parent these days, but it was important to us to try for the most natural route first. Personal choice. Thankfully, we were blessed to discover in early February that the fertility fairy had visited us again. 💜💜💜
As I type this I am 28 weeks and 1 day. Each day I keep this little bundle in my belly is a sigh of relief. Baking her has become a large focus of my existence. Besides the fact that I’m pretty huge at this point, I can never for a moment forget that I’m pregnant because I’ve been much more uncomfortable with this pregnancy than my first AND she seems to have a future in kickboxing. But it’s all great signs. Everyday that I grapple with the unpleasant symptoms of pregnancy and kicks to my organs, is a reminder that maybe I can do this, that women as a whole are badasses, and that I am capable of so much more than it may seem at times.
Is it ideal to be facing all this in the midst of trying to conclude my dissertation? Yes and no. Yes, because as I said, we want this baby. Our family and hearts have space for her. Although I’m not sure about our pockets! 🤣🤣🤣 You can only complain but so much about a situation that you intentionally bring about. Ever since we got married during the first week of my doctoral program, I have had the view that school will not stop me from living my life. School is a part of my life. My career is a part of my life. Neither could ever be my whole life though. My priorities revolve around the family that we’re building. That family is what I have always wanted–long before I had even put any serious thought into professional life. I wanted to love and be loved, so here I am, focusing on those things.
With all that said, obviously there are ways in which this is not an ideal situation. I’m often tired or uncomfortable and I have to push through it as much as possible. This was particularly hard in the beginning when we had not shared the news with anyone. Even with people knowing, it’s important to me that no one ever think that I’m using my pregnancy to catch any breaks or sympathy. I’m still pretty darn capable of doing just about anything. It may take a bit more time and I might have the look of an uncomfortable, sea cow as I address said task, but I’ll get it done. The biggest academic worry I have at this time is trying to finish all of the program requirements prior to the birth. I have no idea how I will be doing physically and psychologically after baby arrives. At a minimum, I will definitely have more on my plate. Thus i really want to wrap this program up ASAP. It’s unclear if this will actually happen but a girl can hope, right?
So there’s another update on what’s happening in my neck of the woods. It might not be cookie cutter perfect, but such is the life of a ScholarMom!
Are you currently expecting another child? Or maybe you’re first? How are you managing to juggle everything without losing your mind? Tell us your secrets in the comments!
📸: Gender Reveal photo (top of post) courtesy of Catherine Rae Photography; FB and IG: @Catherineraephotography