Finding Victories in Your Day-to-Day

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Young children looking at a laptop, looking happy/celebratory

As we all get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, it can be easy to lose touch with what matters. Or at least I know that’s the case for me. There’s so much on my plate and I just want to feel like I’m succeeding. In many ways I’m blessed to have the life that I always wanted. There was nothing I ever wanted more than to have love and family. I should be happy. I am happy or at least content a lot of the time. But there are also many moments when I steal my own joy through an illogical quest for perfection. As 2019 quickly approaches, I hope that most of us know that perfection is an illusion. And yet, many of us still seek it. There are understandable reasons for that. We work hard. We’ve made sacrifices to pursue our dreams and support our families. So now we want to see the evidence that we’re not just spinning our wheels and going nowhere fast. But here’s the thing: The evidence is all around you. You just have to use intentionality and self-directed kindness to find it.

My son has been such a sweet little reality check for me in this area. Although he makes me want to scream at times, I’m often reminded that he’s still new to the Earth. Everyday is full to the brim with opportunities for him to learn, experience, and achieve something new. Sometimes he’ll be babbling on about only God knows what, and then suddenly he’ll use a new word. In that moment time stops and I feel so proud of him. The best part is that these moments tend to be so casual. I’m grinning from ear to ear, thinking maybe I have made good choices as a mother, but he’s typically pretty blasé about it. His little spongey toddler brain just absorbs stuff, files it away, and then spits it out when the moment is right, all without him having to overanalyze the situation in the least. Of course, there are also plenty of times when he IS aware of his wins. Whenever he can pull off a tumble with good form that’s definitely cause for a happy dance. But in the grand scheme of things, those subtle, easy-to-miss wins are probably much more plentiful.

Maybe moms have moments like that too. It may feel like we’re stumbling through life, a bit like a baby just getting her footing. But maybe, just maybe, there is someone in the background thinking “Wow, I’m so proud of her!,” “She figured it out!,” or “I’m so lucky that you’re my wife/partner/mom/sister/friend.” Because guess what? Our kids aren’t the only ones who are constantly learning. A mother’s growth is ongoing as well. Just because your week hasn’t been perfect doesn’t mean that you aren’t still progressing toward the next level of Badass-momness.

So my challenge to you is to take some time out before the new year begins to consider how far you have come. That meltdown that LO had at the grocery store? Do you think that you from a year ago would have been as equipped to handle all that? What about that crisis that caught you off guard this year? Maybe you’re hurting but if your family has the necessities and still has joy, then it sounds like you’re surviving despite it all.

Surviving. despite. it. all.

Sometimes you may thrive and sometimes you just survive, but take neither of those things for granted. There was a time when you didn’t know how to do either and look at you now. *Insert happy dance*